.x.palenight.x.

[La Belleza]

The pale night unfolds across the sky...

name Palenight

She won't make a sound

clan CascadeClan

Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering

position Deputy

if she stands, she'll fall down.

gender she-cat

She wants to be found

age 38 moons

The only way out is through everything she's running from

family
mother; Fallingsnow; elder of CascadeClan
father; Crowshadow; elder of CascadeClan
sister; Birchshadow; deceased

neice; Fawnpaw; apprentice of CascadeClan
neice; Dovepaw; apprentice of CascadeClan
nephew; Mottledpaw; apprentice of CascadeClan

wants to give up and lie down.

mate Eagleclaw

So stand in the rain

description Imagine inky splotches across fur as white as paper. Picture clean cut white and black grass, soft as satin. Imagine long, willowy legs made for running and swimming. Imagine sharp, ivory claws hidden behind rosy pawpads. See the pale pink blush-colored nose. Picture the dark golden-brown eyes, and ring of emerald around onyx. Imagine a lithe form slipping through trees and slinking through water, the droplets being shook off, catching the beautiful sunlight. This is Palenight.

Stand your ground

picture Palenight

Stand up when it's all crashing down

personality Strong and determined. Always doing what's best for her Clan. Never complaining, but always wishing. Hurting, regretting everything she's done. Knowing she can't change the past, and doing everything she can to make StarClan forgive her. Pretending she's fine, but when inside she's holding pieces together. Holding back the truth and spewing lies. All she really wants to do is curl up and let the world do what it wants. Running from the truth, but knowing that it's not false. Hearing voices telling her what she doesn't want to hear, telling her she's not good enough, she's horrible and doesn't deserve what she has. Pushing her farther into darkness even though she acts like she's in the light. Keeping all her problems and pains to herself, putting her Clan before her. She is falling apart at the seams and no one notices. She wants someone to notice. She is loyal and true, but nervous and scared of the outcome. She is fiery, with a temper to match. She is Palenight.

You stand through the pain

history Scene 1 - Oh My Little Girl; Palenight was born in the middle of the night, with a cloud across the moon. She was born first, followed by her sister, Birchkit. When she was born, her eyes were a pale light brown with shimmering green around the pupil, though that darkened over time. This is where she got her name. Her parents were loving and treated both cats the same. But in the hectic moment of kitting, the medicine cat did not see a cloud hiding the moon. One did, but the next day, that very cat fell into the river, rushing faster due to the snow melting. He fell over the waterfall to his death.

Unknown to all, Palenight would have no choice in her dark destiny.

Scene 2 - Vows Are Spoken; Her apprenticeship passed by uneventful. She wasn't particularly best at anything, just normal. She didn't excel and speed ahead like her sister seemed to do. She was just that - normal. She became a warrior at the right, natural time. She was like every other warrior, not standing out from the crowd. Her sister shined like the sun, though. She was kind and loving, one of the best fighters of the Clan, one of the best hunters, one of the best at just about everything. The only thing that wasn't perfect about her was she was condenscending toward her older sister, who trailed in the dust.

She didn't know it would do her harm.

Scene 3 - All I Wanted, All I Needed; There was one thing that Birchshadow did not have, that Palenight did. And that was Eagleclaw. It was Palenight who found love first. This was one area that Palenight excelled in, and Birchshadow could only watch. Though many a tom padded after her like a lovesick fool, she expressed no interest. Until now. Eagleclaw was supposed to be hers. But was he? Because the moment he asked her to be his, Birchshadow did express an interest. In him. She never thought she'd have to fight with her sister for something that was hers. She always thought her sister would get whatever she pleased, because she could do anything. But she refused to lose Eagleclaw. She wouldn't let her sister win everything.

She fought hard, but it wasn't good enough.

Scene 4 - Pleasures Remain, So Does The Pain; She has lost it. He wasn't hers, not anymore. She had lost her battle, and had fell flat. She didn't know why kept trying, acting like it was all OK. Because it wasn't. Birchshadow dangled Eagleclaw in front of her face, and he was absolutely oblivious. So she tried harder. Tried to bring back the most prey on hunting expeditions, tried to work the hardest on repairing dens and such. Helped the medicine cat when she needed help, helped the apprentices when they were up to their tails in apprentice duties. She tried to do everything, tried to make up for losing everything. But being busy didn't stop her from feeling rejected and ugly. Being busy didn't stop her from seeing them together. Didn't stop her from feeling crushed when she found that her sister was expecting. She watched as her sister gave birth to the kits she should've kitted. Watched her sister become the mother she always wanted to be. Her parents were so proud of Birchshadow, but always expressed the same pride and love in her herself. But like everything, her love for Eagleclaw faded until it was just an unpleasant reminder.

An unpleasant reminder that she would never win.

Scene 5 - Words Are Very Unnecessary, They Can Only Do Harm; Palenight; Birchshadow; and another warrior, Thornfang, were assigned to the same hunting patrol. Thornfang disappeared shortly after to go hunting on his own. This was her perfect time. She needed to tell her sister how she felt. She couldn't take it anymore. So she stopped her siser, rounding to face her. She told her how she felt that her sister was taking everything and needed to give her a chance. Told her all she wanted was to become something that she could be proud of. Birchshadow laughed, telling her that she would never live up to anything. She just wasn't capable. Her fiery temper caught fire, and she bristled, telling her sister that she was a theif and didn't accomplish and win anything for herself. That she didn't deserve all she had. Birchshadow spat back that she couldn't even hold onto a mate. How could she expect to be able to responsible enough to be proud of something? That was all a ticking bomb could take. So she leaped. The fight was brutal, but somehow, Birchshadow got distracted. She didn't mean for her claw to connect to her neck. She hadn't meant to let the blood gush, just watching. She heard a crack of a twig, and Thornfang calling.

She hadn't meant to run away.

Scene 6 - Pierce Right Through Me; Nobody had found out. Nobody ever would. Nobody except Palenight herself. She worked even harder, and cats noticed. She did everything she was told to. She hunted longest, brought back the most. She repaired dens when they needed to be, and even when there was the smallest hole. She helped the medicine cat sort herbs, and helped out after a battle, even though she had her own wounds. In battle, she fought the hardest, trying to make herself good enough. She helped in the Nursery, and helped her parents when they retired to become elders. She always brought them the best prey on the freshkill pile. During leafbare, she was always on of the ones who went hungry, let everyone else dine first. She helped Eagleclaw, who had become a single parent, and helped her niece and nephews learn the ropes of becoming a warrior in their spare time. She kept busy so she wouldn't have to think about what she had done.

She kept busy so she could run from what was right in front of her.

Scene 7 - Enjoy The Silence; All of her work did not go unnoticed. When the leader died of greencough, and the deputy became leader, she was appointed deputy. Her parents were proud, the Clan was proud, Eagleclaw and his children were proud. This was a cat who could and would lead the Clan well, for she tried hard, and did everything her Clan needed. She tried not to think of that fact that her sister should've been the one becoming deputy. She tried to ignore the fact that she didn't deserve this position because she was a murderer. She tried to ignore the fact that her sister and StarClan was silent. She couldn't face the truth. She tells herself she didn't meant to. She didn't meant to.

I didn't mean to.

You won't drown

rp example Her white paws padded softly on the ground carpetted with leaves. A leaf twittered down, landing on her back, which she shook off. Her sister, beside her, had her head held high, though they were supposed to be hunting. Perhaps she knew what was coming? No, she couldn't. She had barely let it register in her mind. Perhaps she had something to say to her? She stopped, rounding so she was in front of her sister. Birchshadow did not look surprised, and stood silently, looking at her with her condenscending green eyes.

"I need to tell you something," the white and black she-cat murmured, her own golden-brown eyes glimmering in the pale light of leaffall. Birchshadow waited, flexing her claws, her ears twitching. "You need to give me chance to shine. I feel like I'm living in your shadow, that nobody's noticing what I'm doing. I feel like you're taking everything, and not giving anybody else a chance to follow their destiny. I want to have a chance to do something I can be proud of. Please, it's all I've ever asked of you."

Birchshadow scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Palenight, darling, you'll never live up to anything. No offense, but you're just not capable. Sorry, sis." Her tone didn't sound sorry. She was capable, she knew it. Her fur bristled, standing on end. Her eyes blazed molten fire, the emerald ring gleaming darker with her anger.

"Yes," she hissed, "I can. You're the one who is incapable of doing something you can be proud of. You're a theif. You take what isn't rightfully yours. You don't win or accomplish anything by yourself. You need others to help you, and then don't give anybody credit." She flashed back to the time last leafbare when a storm had swept through, destroying the apprentices' den. She had spent all day finding things to repair it, and Birchshadow had worked for a little while until they had finished and taken all the credit. Her work had been for nothing. "You don't deserve all the credit and things you have."

Birchshadow growled low in her throat, crouching. "Oh, please. How can you expect the responsibility you'll have when you 'accomplish' something when you can't even hold on to your mate? You'll never be able to handle it. You can barely handle walking on four legs." Her muscles tensed and coiled, ready to spring. She couldn't take this kind of insult anymore.

She sprang, her paws colliding with Birchshadow's shoulders. She screeched with the impact, flipping over so she was on top. Palenight clawed at her sister's stomach, drawing blood. She sent her sister flying into some bushes with her strong hindpaws. She leaped to her feet, waiting for her to come out. She wasn't expecting the weight from her left side. She felt her face smash into the dirt, dust mingling in her eyes. She coughed, and blinked out the dirt. Her sister scratched at her cheeks and ears, tearing a hole in one ear. Then she went still, though Palenight's claws were still at work. They met flesh at Birchshadow's neck, and an unexpected torrent of blood gushed into her eyes as Birchshadow collapsed, her eyes wide with shock. She coughed and sputtered, her eyes still watching her sister.

Palenight's eyes were round. She hadn't meant to. The paw swipe was aimed at her chin and mouth. She had missed, like always. She was frozen to her spot, unable to move to bring her sister to camp. A cracked twig. A muffled call. Thornfang. No, she wouldn't take the blame. She ran, though her sister's eyes - she could feel - were still on her back. Please don't let her die. She ran for somewhere, anywhere, ending up at the MistClan border. Her wounds stung, and she knew MistClan would help her, and not tell the other Clans. So she leapt straight across the border, her paws pounding against the dewy grass, the mist swirling around her.

She stayed there for a couple days until her strength had returned and her wounds healed completely. There was nothing to be said about her ear. It would stay that way for as long as she was alive, and most likely after. When she returned, she realized it had snowed, and washed away all traces of her scent. She found that Thornfang had been unable to direct them back to where he had found Birchshadow, because the snow had fallen shortly after arriving back at camp. She heard that Thornfang had been incapable of knowing who had injured Birchshadow, because his mouth and nose were full of the scent of prey that he carried in his mouth. She found that Birchshadow was dead.

And one day what's lost can be found

theme Stand in the Rain by Superchick

other Ta Da! My first character on the new site! Hooray for me! This is my own personal format for applications. I guess if anybody else wants to do it this way, that's OK. But it's not required. It's just my personal preference.

Palenight will be roleplayed in 66ff44.

Lyrics used;
Stand in the Rain..............Superchick (Green)
Enjoy the Silence..............Lacuna Coil (Underlined)

You stand in the rain.

code look a r o u n d, tears are f a l l i n g, falling d o w n. nothing can be done, not n o w. it's already o v e r.

cloaking the shadow of a birch in darkness...